For years now, not just when a new year rolls around and it seems right to "set some resolutions." But, as something consistently on my mind is the feeling of finding more purpose or fulfillment (or whatever the right word might be) in this life. I can't say it's completely a feeling of yearning for increased happiness as I have been incredibly blessed. But, for a long time now there is a yearning to get more out of this life I have been given.

I didn't legitimately ponder what I might do to find what I felt was missing or what was maybe there, but not present in a large enough part of my daily life until near the end of last year. I opened up "notes" on my phone and started a random list of things that I had been wanting to do, but never devoted the time. A bucket list of sorts. Not things like "travel to New Zealand" although that is something I'd like to do. This list contained thoughts like "learn to play piano again, read more, do charitable work, wear lipstick, edit my home and closet, cook, be more patient."

The first note on the list, "get more out of each day - less sleep" pretty much summed up my initial thoughts on how I might find more fulfillment... If I do more, pack more into each day, surely I'll be fulfilled, right?

While I think it is important to not take for granted the precious time we have on this earth and I do wholeheartedly plan to incorporate many of things on my list (as well as others that come along the way) as they're easy experiences to take on here and there, nothing to unachievable. The path to what I've been trying to work towards this year was clearly drawn for me through the sermon at church on January 8th. Lead pastor, Kris McDaniel, at Trinity Anglican Mission in Atlanta was speaking on the cycle of grace. The cycle would have us go clock-wise. First on acceptance by incorporating scripture and prayer into our lives among other things. Then on sustenance through structure and practice (as well as good wine, fellowship - friends, rest). Then identity (or significance). And lastly, fruitfulness (or achievement).

Kris spoke to us about being flat worn out because we're doing it backwards and going counter clock-wise starting with achievement - We think we'll feel at peace by working hard and getting significant.

Achievement is a fruit, not a start. Such a simple, but eye opening way to look at how we approach our lives. So, I have a clear direction of where to start now... I will start at the proper beginning with acceptance.

To dig in further, read "The Cycle of Grace: Living in Sacred Balance" by Trevor Hudson.

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